Taking This Love Down With Me
by redhandedwickedlittlemachine
Summary: Lucian Oneshot series number 3. Ian kisses Lucy after the Ustream. What happens next?
1. Taking This Love Down With Me

_Taking This Love Down With Me_

Ian stood silently in his kitchen with the empty glasses that he and Lucy had drank from while she pulled her shoes on. She was talking about meeting up with her friends for food, and yet Ian was desperately trying bury the fact that there was a shitload of emotions inside of him trying to get him to say the right words that would make her stay.

Ever since he'd found out she was dating Chris, he'd been torn. One part of him was happy that his best female friend was happy. He loved Lucy more than just about anyone else on the planet, and she deserved to be the happiest she could possibly be. If that was with Chris, then that was how things should be.

But the other half of him was **insanely fucking jealous.** The mere idea that some other guy was _kissing those perfect lips_? That someone else had their arms wrapped around her tiny waist? That she was sitting in another guy's lap? Holding another guy's hand? All the things that she was doing with Chris, she wasn't doing with him.

And who was he to be jealous, anyway? It wasn't like he, as Ian, had ever kissed, held hands, or cuddled with Lucy. Every time something like that had happened, it had always been in character. But then, you couldn't exactly leave **feelings** in character, could you?

"Ian? Hey? _Helloooo?_ You still in there? Or have you checked out for night?" Lucy giggled.

Ian shook his head and blinked suddenly a few times. "What? Yeah, sorry."

Lucy raised an eyebrow at him as she pulled her bag onto her shoulder. "What's going on in that head of ours, Harding?"

Ian shook his head again, smiling at her. "Nothing, honestly. I got distracted, I guess. So what were you saying?" "I was **asking** if you wanted to get dinner on the twelfth when I get back." She said.

Ian nodded. "Right, cause you're going to Vancouver for a few days?" Lucy nodded. "And then to Brazil. So dinner?"

"Sure," Ian agreed. "You're going be up for that?"

Lucy nodded again. She looked down at her watch. "We'll talk more about it later. I gotta get out of here before I miss my dinner."

Ian nodded. He followed her over to the door, and held her coat out so that she could slip her arms into it. Once she had it on, Lucy opened the door and stepped out.

"What? No hug goodbye?" Ian joked.

Lucy turned around and smiled at him. She reached up and hugged him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Ian leaned into her and hugged her back, taking a deep breath. His gut wrenched as he breathed the scent of her strawberry shampoo, because he knew in a few moments, she would let go and leave.

He wanted to tell her not to leave. Not just to not leave for dinner, but not leave the next day to see her **boyfriend.** He wanted her to stay right there with him.

But just as he assumed, and just as he knew, she eventually released her arms from around his neck, and turned to walk away. At the last moment, he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Hey."

Lucy turned around and looked up at him. "What-"

His hand came up to cup her face and gently pulled her up. Their lips connected a few seconds later, and suddenly a thousand different emotions and thoughts were running through Ian's head as his lips slowly parted and he brushed his tongue against her bottom lip. His thoughts were equally shattered when her lips opened and she all but invited his tongue into her mouth. Her hand slowly rested against his chest just next to his heart, and it phased him that she could probably feel his heart _fucking __**racing**_.

And then it was just over, and all he wanted was to kiss her more. His lips were still parted as he panted softly. Lucy's hand slowly slipped down from his chest, and wordlessly, she turned and walked away. Ian watched as she walked down the hall and then turned away.

Long after she had left, he finally shut his door and closed his eyes as he leaned back against his wall. She hadn't said a word. She hadn't done anything after kissing him. She'd just walked away.

He slowly sunk down onto the floor, and furrowed his brow line as he bit on his tongue. What could be understood from this? How did this affect their relationship? Hell, how did this affect her relationship with Chris? What did this mean for them?

_-  
>Be still and know that I'm with you<br>__Be still, be still, and know  
>- <em>

_**I'm on my way. Open the door.**_

He had stared at that message for at least twenty minutes after he'd received it. His heart was pounding, and she hadn't even shown up yet, but his thoughts had been racing endlessly for over two hours. What was she going to say to him? What were they going to do? Had he just fucked everything up beyond repair?

His door opened a few moments later, and he looked up, his mouth agape as Lucy pushed the door shut behind her.

He slowly stood up from his spot on his couch and ran his sweaty hands down over his jeans. There was a lot he wanted to say, but he didn't even know where to start. His heart was still pounding. He blinked and widened his eyes for a moment, trying to get a grip on himself.

"Sorry," Lucy said as she pushed the door shut. "I um…" She waved her hands, taking on a perplexed look. "I wanted to talk, but I didn't want to miss my friends- my reservations." She looked back up at him. "Ian…"

He closed his mouth, which was too dry from standing there, still struggling for the words that were refusing to form into a proper sentence in his head. He brushed his tongue over the roof of his mouth, getting some saliva moving, before he opened his mouth to speak again. All that came out was a frustrated breath.

Lucy took several steps towards him, and suddenly he was seeing black spots. Was his heart really racing _that_ fast?

"Whoa, Ian." Lucy dashed over to him and placed her one hand on his chest while her other rested on his shoulder. She gently lowered him down onto the couch and then sat down next to him. "Take a deep breath, sweetie."

He looked over at her as he forced a long breath into his lungs. Things quickly began to clear up as he breathed out, and took in another breath. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Lucy shook her head.

"Don't say anything right now," she insisted. "Just breathe. You're scaring the shit out of me doing crap like this."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

Lucy glared at him. He closed his mouth and continued breathing in deep breaths.

"You," she said. "I'm not going to kill you Ian, so stop freaking out." He huffed. "You walked out of here without so much as goodbye. I had no idea if you were coming back, or if you were pissed at me or-" "STOP." She growled. "Just fucking _breathe_ before you pass out."

Ian groaned and threw himself dramatically back against his couch. He and Lucy stared at each other in an equally frustrated manner for several minutes as he waited for his heart rate to come back down to a manageable level. Once it had, he pushed up off the couch and walked over to the kitchen. It wasn't necessarily that he was suddenly craving something or anything like that. He just wanted to put some space between them and busy his hands with something, so he grabbed a wine glass from one of the cupboards and then busied himself filling it with sparkling water.

"What was that kiss about earlier?" Lucy finally asked. She stood up from her seat, but didn't walk over to him.

Ian shook his head, settling the glass on the counter. "I don't- I…" He closed his eyes and brought a hand up to his face, squeezing the bridge of his nose. He exhaled a long breath. "It was about a lot of things."

"Like?" Lucy asked. She walked over to the counter and leaned against it as Ian looked up.

"Really?" He asked. He tipped his head to the side. "Are we actually going to beat around the bush instead of just being honest?"

"Say it, Ian. Stop lying about how you feel, and maybe things would change."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "_Me, lying?_Seriously, Luce? Because I was pretty clear about how I felt. You're the one who walked away."

"I told you-" Ian cut her off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't want to miss your reservations."

"I have a boyfriend, Ian." Lucy argued. "Why couldn't you-" He slammed his hands down on the counter, palm-down as he glared up at her. "**Why?** I love you, Lucy. God damn it, You think I'd say this if I could keep it to myself? It makes me _sick_ looking at you with him, because I can't fucking **stand** it! I hate the idea of him doing _anything_ with you that I can't! In ways that I can't even _**explain**_ to you. I tried so hard to keep it to myself, but the idea that you're going to go there tomorrow and be with him and do things that-" He stopped, clenching his jaw. "I can't. I don't-…" He shook his head. "I can't make you not go. I can't stop you from going to be with him. But I couldn't lie about how I feel anymore, either."

Lucy frowned as she looked at him. "Ian… I don't…I mean, I…"

Ian shook his head. "I know you don't feel the same way. It's why I've never said it before. It's why I've lied a lot about how I feel. But it's the truth. And I can't _stand_ the idea of not telling you, if I takes any difference. I can see that it doesn't though so…" He nodded.

Lucy popped up and placed her hands down on the counter. "I never said that. I just, I don't know what to do with this information. I mean, Chris…" "Do you love him?" Ian asked her honestly.

Lucy looked down, and then back up at him. "I honestly don't know. I don't feel like I've known him long enough to say that."

"And me?" He asked tentatively.

Lucy gave a small smile, tilting her head towards him. "Of course, I love you, Ian. But I think maybe we love each other in different ways. I don't really know. I've never thought much about it. I just…I thought we were in agreement about our relationship because of everything with Pretty Little Liars. I thought…I don't know. I thought we were just going to be friends." Ian reached a hand across the counter and took one of her hands in his. "I've _tried_. But, I've told you. Seeing you with him _makes me sick_. I don't want it, Luce."

She nodded slowly. "I wish I could give you all the answers you want right now, but I need to think about this. I'm not dismissing you, or saying that I don't care, but…I'm gonna go to Vancouver tomorrow. **Not** so I can be with him, but regardless of what happens, it needs to happen face-to-face, okay? We'll have dinner when I get back. We'll talk about everything, and I promise I'll call you. Just…I need time."

Ian couldn't deny that he was sad to hear her say that she needed time to think about things, but he understood. He'd taken months to finally tell her how he really felt. He couldn't expect her to suddenly feel the same way, especially when she had a boyfriend. The best he could do was wait, hope, and pray.

"Okay."


	2. Angel With A Shotgun

_Angel With A Shotgun_

Ian stared at his phone in his hands as he waited for his door to open. The last week had been the _longest_ week of his life. It felt like Lucy was never going to come home.

Yet, she had called him two hours earlier to let him know that she was in the city again. It had launched him into a world of pacing and freaking out. One of two things could happen. She could show up here and tell him that she felt the same way, or she could show up and tell him that she was still with Chris, and was going to stay with him.

He walked into the kitchen and drummed his fingers against the counter as he leaned against it. After several long minutes of just standing there, he knew he needed to do something that would keep his mind off of getting caught up in yet another panic attack.

He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet and then walked over to the sink and turned on the tap. He made sure it was cold before he filled the glass with water and then brought it to his lips and took a long drink from it.

He drank most of what was in the glass before he finally set it down and took a long breath. He gripped he counter and closed his eyes, trying to get a grip on the moment.

His eyes shot open when he heard the door open. He turned around, and Lucy was standing there in the doorway.

Lucy furrowed her brow as she looked at him. She had a slight smirk on her face. "You going nuts or something?"

Ian gave her a perplexed look. "No. Why?" Lucy laughed. She walked over to the counter and dropped her bag on it. "You're all _rigid!_"

Ian exhaled a long breath and shook his head. "No, I'm not going nuts. Well, at least not in the matter you're speaking. How was your trip?" Lucy smiled happily. "_Ah_-mazing. I had so much fun. I totally wanna go again. How was yours? You went to New York, right?" Ian nodded. He grabbed his glass from the counter behind him and took a drink from it. "It was good. I saw my sister, and my nephew. Kid gets cuter every time I see him."

Lucy chuckled. "That's because he looks like you."

Ian's eyes grew wide at her comment and he couldn't help but blush at it. He took a drink from his water and then set it down, though a slight smirk played on his face. "So, um, how was Vancouver?"

Lucy's eyes drifted around the room anxiously. "Vancouver was interesting."

Ian leaned down on the counter while Lucy settled onto a barstool behind it and rested her arms on the counter as well. They smiled at each other and stood in an awkward silence for several moments before Lucy finally pushed back and grabbed her phone out of her pocket. She tapped the screen several times and then settled her phone back on the counter.

"This is very awkward," Ian said, like it wasn't already obvious.

Lucy shrugged and shook her head. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt. Having this conversation isn't easy."

Ian shook his head. "Lucy, you're not going to hurt anyone by being honest. No one can make you feel anything that you don't." She nodded slowly. "I know. That's why this is so hard."

Ian took in a loud breath and gulped. If the situation was hard, then clearly she was still with Chris. Why else would she feel like this situation was hard? "I went to Vancouver unsure of how things were going to go when I got there. I knew there was a lot that I needed to think about, and I did. I thought about everything again while I was in the Philippines too. I just…" She shook her head as her voice trailed off. "I don't like this, Ian. I don't like knowing that no matter what I do or what I say, someone will get hurt. I care about you and Chris both." Ian moved towards the counter. He grabbed her hands between his. "It's alright, Luce. Whatever it is. It's alright if you love him."

Lucy looked up at him, surprised at his comment. "Ian…I.."

There was a long silence between them again, and the longer it went on, the worse both of them felt. Ian could tell she was conflicted, which was hard for him to see. Lucy could see that for as much he was trying to keep it inside, that it was hurting him too. She hated seeing that she was hurting him.

"This is very hard," she said softly.

She watched his eyes cast downward and he stared at the counter. His hands were still in hers, but she could feel the nervousness coming from him. She knew just as much as he did that whatever she was about to say could either make or break him.

Lucy licked her lips and then reached a hand up to his face. The best way to do this was just to come right out and say it anyway.

"I love you, Ian. A lot more than I'm ever going to love Chris."

He kept his head down, and Lucy couldn't help but feel her chest cave, half in a laugh and half in a whimper.

"Hey," she said. She moved her hand under his chin, making him look up at her. There were tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

Ian shook his head at her. "Absolutely nothing. Just never imagined that you would actually feel the same way."

Lucy furrowed her brow at him. "Why not?"

Ian shrugged, looking off at different things. "You're the one who's always saying there's nothing here romantically."

"Because I didn't know that you wanted there to be," Lucy replied. She got off the stool she was on and walked around the counter so that she was standing in front of him. "You **have** to know that I love you. I always have." Ian shook his head, looking down at her. Lucy wiped away one of the tears that fell from his eyes. "It's easy to love someone even if they don't love you the same way. And we agreed we'd never risk ruining what we have for the sake of-" Lucy clamped her hand down over his mouth. "Fuck Ezria. Screw the entire fandom. Lucian is a fandom all its own."

Lucy giggled as she spoke, and she could see Ian's mouth tugging up into a smile. He pulled her hand away from his mouth and moved his hands down to her hips as he tilted his head down to kiss her. Lucy looped her arms around his neck and brushed her fingers into the hair at the base of his skull. She pressed her body up against him.

Ian chuckled, gently pushing her away from him as they broke away for air. "Lets not turn this into a situation where I can't keep control of myself."

"There's something wrong with that?" Lucy asked.

Ian tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at her. "I respect you, goose. More than that, I love you, and I would never expect things out of you like that. I'm not saying I don't _want_ it. But I don't want to rush things either."

Lucy smiled at him. He was a far cry from what Chris was in those ways. "Then I just have one question for you, Shmian."

Ian chuckled. "And what's that?"

"Be my valentine?"

Ian just smiled at her.


	3. A Thousand Years

_A Thousand Years_

Ian held two dozen roses in his hands, and he was currently pacing on the floor in front of the elevator that would take him up to Lucy's apartment. Why did things that sounded good in theory always sound so terrible when it came time to actually doing them?

He took a long breath and stopped pacing for a moment. _Get it together, Harding. If she was going to back out, she would've had the decency to call you first. _

He'd gotten dressed up for this occasion; something different than what he usually had to go with. He had on a black v-neck sweater and dark blue jeans, finished off with a pair of black Chuck Taylors. He also had a loose jacket hanging over his arm. At this point, he had no idea what he was going to see Lucy dressed in, but he was certainly excited to see her.

He took another breath, and punched the button that would lead him to her apartment.

The doors opened a moment later, and he stepped inside. He punched the button for her floor and leaned against the wall while he waited for the elevator to move. He closed his eyes as the elevator moved. He wasn't very fond of them.

It wasn't necessarily that he had an issue with them, or didn't like the courtesy they provided, but he feared the idea of being stuck in one alone, and not being found.

A few moments later, the elevator docked at the right floor. It shook lightly and then the doors opened.

Ian pushed off the wall and walked out of the elevator. He was slapped in the face with surprise by a small white dog yapping at his heels. He looked down and laughed. Jack was barking at him and attempting to climb his jeans.

Ian knelt down, holding the flowers aside in one hand while he patted Jack's head. Jack hopped up, resting his paws on Ian's right knee as he pushed up and licked Ian's cheek. Ian chuckled. "Good to see you too, Jack."

"Jack? Jack, where in the _world_ have you run off to?"

Ian laughed and picked up the small dog into his arms. "C'mon. I think mommy is looking for you."

He walked to the end of the hall and then rounded it. Several feet away, Lucy was standing near her door with a robe wrapped around her.

"Thank god. Jack!" She smiled at Ian as she took Jack from him. "Thanks. You look nice." Ian smiled at her. "As do you. Well, for as nice as bathrobes look." Lucy chuckled. "I'll be ready in a few moments. I was trying to let him burn off a little energy before we went out, but he took off before I could grab my coat."

Her eyes drifted to the flowers, and Ian laughed. She opened the door wider. "Come in." Ian stepped inside and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. Lucy brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and blushed.

"These are for you," he said, laying the flowers in her arms. He moved his jacket into both of his hands and gripped his hands around it as they stood there for a moment. When the silence started shifting from cute to awkward, Lucy finally moved.

"Let me just get these in water and grab my coat." Ian watched as she walked over to her kitchenette and grabbed an empty vase off the counter. She filled it with water and then pulled the flowers from their plastic wrapping and placed them into the vase. She rearranged them a bit and then settled them. "Looks like they need to be trimmed a bit, but I can do that when we get back."

She unsheathed her robe a moment later as she walked towards her bedroom, and Ian couldn't help but gape at her. She was in the white dress she'd worn to the glaad awards in 2011. It was a strapless dress that fell to her knees, and the skirt was very flowy.

Lucy walked out of her bedroom a moment later with her leather jacket on. Ian couldn't help but chuckle. She looked very cute in it, but just like his jeans had dressed down his outfit, so did her jacket to her dress.

She walked over to him a moment later and slipped her fingers in his as she slipped her feet into a pair of black boots. It phased him in that moment just how much liked holding her hand just as Ian holding Lucy's hand. He squeezed her hand lightly.

Lucy smiled to him. She was a few inches taller and within kissing distance. Ian smiled and tilted his head down towards her. Lucy reached her hand up and cupped her hand around his neck. She pressed her tongue against his lips and pushed them apart. Ian slipped his tongue into her mouth.

They parted a few moments later, both blushing. Lucy pulled her coat tighter around her.

"I'm gonna get my phone," she murmured. She turned away. "C'mon Jack. Lets get you in your bed!"

The maltipoo charged over to a dog bed in one of the corners of the room and Lucy grabbed her iPhone from its charger on one of the walls. She walked over to Ian and slipped her arm in his.

"Ready to go?"

Lucy nodded. Ian pulled the door open, and the two of them walked out of the apartment.

As they walked towards the elevators, Lucy's phone began to play a song. Ian furrowed his brow as he listened to the lyrics. He gave her a quizzical look.

"_What a beautiful smile  
><em>_Can I stay for a while  
><em>_On this beautiful night  
><em>_We'll make everything right  
><em>_My beautiful love, my beautiful love…"_

Lucy cringed, reaching into her pocket. She pulled her phone out and tapped a few different buttons on the screen. "Sorry." She murmured.

Ian shrugged, pushing the down button as they walked up to the elevator. "Chris?" "Yeah," Lucy drawled with a sorrowful tone. "I haven't changed the ringtone yet. I don't know _what_ to change it to. He still thinks there's a chance I'll change my mind and I just…don't feel that way. You know?"

Ian nodded. "So can I ask what you've got on there for me?" Lucy looked up at him with a doe-eyed expression. She gulped and giggled as she looked down at her phone. "Um, okay. I hope I'm not crazy, though." She pushed a button, and Ian smiled as he heard the familiar song.

"_I have died every day waiting for you  
><em>_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you  
><em>_For a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more  
><em>_And all along I believed I would find you  
><em>_Time has brought your heart to me  
><em>_I have loved you for a thousand years  
><em>_I'll love you for a thousand more…"_

Lucy kept her eyes downcast as they stepped into the elevator, though both she and Ian were smiling.

"It's sweet," he said when his own blushing expression had managed to fade away. He brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek. "Really."

Lucy looked up at him. "Now I'm curious. What's mine?"

Ian smiled at her, pulling his own iPhone from his pocket.

"_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight__Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
><em>_No, I don't wanna mess this thing up  
><em>_No, I don't wanna push too far  
><em>_Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
><em>_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
><em>_So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight…"_

Lucy giggled and took a step towards him. "That is so cheesy and cute and so many other things. I love it."

"It's also very accurate," Ian replied as he leaned down and pecked her on the lips. He wrapped his arm around her as he lifted his head back up. The elevator docked on the first floor of the apartment building and they both got out. He led her out of the building and they walked over to his car. Ian made sure Lucy was settled comfortable in the passenger seat before he rounded the car and got into the drivers seat.

He placed the key in the ignition, and within moments of the car being started up, Lucy reached up and grabbed his right hand. Ian chuckled, removing his hand from hers long enough to shift the car into drive before he took her hand again.

"So how was your day?" He asked as he pulled onto the road.

Lucy shrugged. "Boring. I'm still getting back on LA time. I was really tired for most of the afternoon so I took a nap earlier. What about you?" Ian looked over at her for a moment before he looked back to the road. "I had to meet with my agent and then I went shopping for groceries. You know, loads of fun."

Lucy chuckled. She looked out the window.

The rest of the ride passed in silence, save for the sound of the cars heating system and the occasional crackling of the radio. It wasn't anything that either of them minded, though. They were both comfortable to sit in silence together as Ian drove them towards Lucy's favourite Mexican restaurant. She had no clue where he was taking her, but he always remembered her favourite things.

A few minutes later, they pulled up into a parking spot a few buildings down from the restaurant. Lucy looked up at him as Ian turned the car off.

"We're here?" Ian nodded. "I'm gonna need my hand back for a few moments." Lucy blushed as she giggled. She let go of his hand and moved to unbuckle her seatbelt. Ian did the same with his own and then grabbed the keys from the ignition before getting out of the car. He walked around to her door and opened it for her.

Lucy smiled at him, taking his offered hand as she got out. "Thank you."

Ian pushed the door shut once she was out of the car and made sure the doors were locked before Lucy wrapped her arm in his, holding his hand. As they walked towards the restaurant, it finally began to phase Lucy as to where they were.

"You made reservations at my favourite restaurant? On Valentines day?" She gave him a look of awe.

Ian smiled down at her as he stopped in his tracks, turning to face her. "I know everything you love, Lucy. I may not know what color your eyes are if I'm not looking into them, but I know you hate cheese. I know you love to cuddle. I know you're extremely ticklish. And I know I love you more than anything else." She smiled at him as tears glistened in her eyes. She moved her hands up to his face and pulled him down to her, kissing him. Ian rested his hands on her hips, brushing his tongue against her bottom lip.

"I love you too, Ian."


End file.
